The Lives of Others

We always fantasise about being someone else. This desire is what gives birth to our creativity. Look at things that we create and consume in the name of entertainment/information or more apt, Infotainment - gossip, stories, comics, movies, paintings, photography, TV serials, reality shows, Movie star gossip shows, social networking,...all of them share a common thread- they tell about someone’s experiences.

The Far Ones:

These people may be real (news, reality show, biographies) or imaginary (fiction)... past (history) or future (Sci-fi)... good (Superman), bad (bad man)  or plainly ugly (शक्ति-मैन ) or even our own past(nostalgia) or future self(day-dreaming). The experiences may be trivial (gossip, social networking) or world changing (natural calamities, wars)... real (20-20) or unreal (गुंडा); all of us have our own set of favourites. We enjoy them, because we enjoy imagining ourselves to be in the shoes of that person, that James Bond, that कृष्ण, that कर्ण, that Federer, that sachin.

The Near Ones:

This is not limited to only famous and public figures, it holds equally true about ‘normal’ people around us too; we want to know as much as possible about what’s going on in the lives of our family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. We want to be as close as possible to being them. Hence the guilty pleasure in voyeurism, idle gossip, the gtalk and the social media.

The Deplored Ones:

I always used to wonder, why do we create and consume horror, gore and tragedies? The feelings they invoke (fear, nausea and depression) are not exactly desired, what we love is not the feeling they invoke; but consuming that experience, of being that guy frantically running away from some slasher, being hung from tree and roasted alive, being Devdas and drowning life in the bottle (well, this on not exactly depressing :P, but you get the point)

The Revered One:

That’s probably why the highest entity we have devised for our own little world- The God is epitome of this collective fantasy, the one who sees everything and knows everything, in other words, one who lives through everybody and everything.

The Rat who Loved The Race

Back again, after a long break...kya kare!

Tragic it is, but even the greatest mind on earth had to run the race, because this rat is so badly addicted to it.

So I kept running around, doing lotsa bulshit on the way, finally reached some-place nice, partied a little, and then looked back...

For my whole life I have been a fierce competitor, and enjoyed every bit of it... nah that's a lie.

I enjoyed it when the going was good and victories were easy. As I graduated to tougher races, F3 to F1 we can say, the joy started depleting as the victories were few and far between, losses were bountiful. It got the wheel running in my little head.

Thus was born this theory.

Life is a journey towards the moving target set by our own mind. It may be in field of work, in social herarchy or in monetary terms or all of these and more. Spurt of happiness is rise, the same of sadness conversely is fall. Human mind cannot perceive position, however high or low it may be. It can only feel change in it.

Our mind is landscape (mind-space seems better). Our idols (Bill Gates, Gandhi, Einstein or apna desi VIjay Mallaya if you will) mark the mountains and people we look down to (Mohalle ka pakka bewda, failed cousins, etc) mark the valleys. Everyone from our pear group (which of course keeps changing depending upon field of comparison), classmates, colleagues, neighbours, sometimes even family members mark our reference points at different heights.

In the journey through this constantly changing terrain , only change in level and not the steady position arouses emotion. Remember, I am talking emotions...not passive satisfaction or sigh drawn from reminding ourselves of our position . Greater the difference in levels, bigger is the impact.

Looking at positions above us inspires yearning and pain.

Looking at those below inspires smugness and reassurance of the path we took.

Bouncer?

Let me illustrate.

We feel good when we progress...through position, money, qualification or new achievement in any field. This feeling slowly turns into indifference when you get used to it. It only peeps in when you meet somebody with lesser assets than yours, as smugness.

Same holds true for setbacks. You feel bad when your boss fries you bad first time, as you get used to the regular thrashing, it slowly it sinks in and you move on. Of course you momentarily feel better when the bastard fries someone worse than you.

Look in your mind, 

Remember getting into that hallowed building (college, office or new home) with heart bursting of joy, I bet you don't even notice it consciously now  some 2-3 years down the line.

Remember your first pay-check? now the latest one, even fatter 3 times does not give that rush of blood to your heart.

Why were you really happy? because you got some XY% or you beat your whole class?

Why were you unhappy about your salary, even half of which you don't spend...if not for the classmates who earned double?

Why you again felt better when you met that old classmate doing a blue collar hard job at half your pay?

Comparison with our past self and with our current peers is what we derive our joy and consequently sadness from. 

We do compete for happiness, consciously or unconsciously; and tragically since we don't have a permanent measure of happiness. We keep running a race with moving targets, fooling ourselves into thinking 'yes, that's my ultimate destination' only to realise it was just a fucking milestone and our dream is still running ahead of us.

The conclusion being, unless we separate the source of happiness from this ever-shifting mirage, we are going to remain captives of our own zero sum game.

The theory is thrown open for discussion, pour in your views.